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Wednesday, October 11, 2006 @ 12:06 AM
just like a click of a finger... water started pouring out... i cant believe how fragile i am.. this is not what i want to be but look at me.. im having a meltdown... im happy.. seriously.. with friends and family.. my preparations for O seems okay but what!! why cant i sleep?.. please someone point out to me whats is the cause of it.. my mind is extremely exhausted from the crying and everything but why not my body??? WHY WHY WHY??... why does it always seems to be me having such problems.. im stopping myself from depending jason.. i cant.. im already too attached to him when my water works start... God knows what will happen to me when he can be here for me anymore.. too much dependency on him is unhealthy... so i will have to be independent... or maybe thats the cause of my meltdown.. all my little insecurities and paranoia bugs have gang up against me bit by bit.. and when they are big enough.. i got attacked... is this all a result of mood swing?... please say this only going to last tonight.. please GOD.. I beg of YOU....... no more of this.. only results of more paranoia.. thinking now if jason thinks im too troublesome now.. always so problematic.. best to be kept in a bottle and at a hidden corner.............. do you think im troublesome at all jas? |
